Ok so prompted by Aidan's crit and a few suggestions from other peeps I've edited the prologue. So what do you guys think? Better? Worse?
Thanks in advance for any comments or suggestions.
Kerstin
- Spoiler:
- The green and black clad bandits crashed through the dark forest. Unseen by the bandits, a large, dark figure watched from nearby as they walked straight into his trap. Suddenly they were all hanging upside-down, writhing around like angry snakes.
The figure stepped forward into a small patch of sunlight that filtered through the clustered tree branches above.
"Let us down!" One of the bandits howled. The man laughed as they begged and pleaded, "What're you doing in my forest?" he demanded, his deep voice threatening.
"Looking for the boy." One of the younger bandits said. The others remained in silent fear, not even attempting to move.
"What boy?" the man asked, turning to find a young boy, not more than sixteen years of age.
"Just a normal boy." he replied
"I see..." the man mused, lifting a huge hand to scratch his beard thoughtfully, "Still, why is this boy so important to you?"
The young bandit looked around at his band nervously. None of them made any attempt to answer for him. Turning around to face the huge man in front of him, he gulped, "He's not...to us."
"Explain yourself!"
"Our hirer says he's important, wants him dead."
"Why, if he's just a normal boy?"
"Don't k-know, he didn't say." the young man replied, shivering involuntarily.
"What're you shivering for? There's hardly a breeze!" the huge man said, glancing around the gloomy clearing. He frowned as a nearby bush rustled, then pulled a wickedly curved dagger from his thick letaher belt, "What's your name?" he asked the bandit.
"M-Mervyn." he replied
"Well Mervyn, I'm going to ask you a few questions and if I don't get a satisfactory answer..." he cut himself off and waved the dagger under Mervyn's nose, as if offering the explanation. Mervyn gulped.
"Now, what does this boy look like?"
"He has fair hair and err carries a bow." Mervyn replied
"Good." the man said, as if quizzing him, "Is he a farm boy?"
"I-I don't know, he doesn't look very rich."
"Who hired you to kill a farm boy?"
"I don't know!" the young man replied, valiantly. A flicker of admiration escaped the man's hard eyes. Quickly masking it he held the dagger to the boy's throat. "Tell me who your hirer is." he said, his voice calm and controlled yet full of authority.
"I-I don't know, please," Mervyn sobbed as a trickle of blood escaped the thin line across his throat, "Please, please, I have a little sister to look after, I have a widowed mother, please don't kill me."
"How very touching." the huge man said, rolling his eyes, "I won't kill you, if you tell me."
Mervyn continued to sob, "Please let me down, my head hurts, I can't think."
The man scowled, scratched his beard again then shook his head, "No, not until you answer my question."
"Hey! Leave him alone will you! He's just a boy!" One of the older bandits spoke up.
"I wasn't talking to you." The man said, swinging around to glare at the speaker. Immediately the older bandit closed his mouth, cutting off the insults he was about to throw at the man.
"So?" The man said, turning back to the young bandit.
"Our-our hirer is-" the words were replaced with a yell as an arrow shot through the air and spilt the rope holding him up. The huge man spun around, pulling his sword from his back. He glowered and replaced his enormous weapon as he found himself facing a tall, slender young elf-woman.
"What are you doing?" he asked aghast, "I almost had the name out of him!"
The elf ignored him as her eyes trailed along the ground as if watching something. The man understood, swung around and grabbed Mervyn by his belt as he tried to scamper away. Throwing the boy on the floor the huge man pinned him there, with his foot. "You're not going anywhere!" he said as Mervyn tried to wriggle free. Once the boy gave up, he turned to glare at the elf.
"I am sorry master, but I had seen too much, the poor human was very...frightened." she said, her honey coloured hair covering her beautiful features as she bowed her head.
"You'd better be sorry!" the man replied, his hard eyes full of anger, yet his face betraying no emotion.
"I think you've already guessed who hired them anyway." a gangly legged young man added, appearing beside her.
"That's not the point!" the older man snapped, stepping towards them, "Both of you will not interfere again." he added, towering over both of them, despite their own tall builds.
"Understood master." the woman said quietly. The young man just nodded. With a shake of his head and a sigh of disappointment the huge man dragged Mervyn to his feet and shoved him over to his two companions, before walked towards a large over hanging bush. Parting the branches he un-tethered a horse, lead it into the clearing and mounting up.
"What're we going to do with the rest of them?" the young man asked
"Nothing, leave them here." the older man replied.
"But father, they'll die!" he argued
"They were trespassing in my forest!" the huge man shot back.
"Well so do a lot of people!"
"Except those people aren't usually filth like this lot!"
"These are still people, not filth!"
"They were going to kill an innocent boy for a few shiny coins!" the huge man spat, "That is what I call filth and I expect you, of all people to understand why!"
The young man looked away, his fists clenched.
"Now that you're both finished," the young woman said, an amused smile spreading across her face, "I would just like to say that I agree with Robin."
The huge man sighed, "You always do." he grumbled, kicking his horse into a walk. The young man looked up at the mention of his name and smiled at the woman.
"Besides," he said, turning to his father, "I'm sure they'll be able to give us information about their hirer."
The huge man stopped his horse and looked at his son, "Robin," he sighed, "You're too much like your mother."
Robin smiled lazily and shrugged, "All the more reason for you to listen to me."
The young woman laughed, while a smile twitched the corner of the older man's lips.
"Just this once," he said, "Cut them down and tie them up with Mervyn; we're going to Veren to speak to some friends of mine."
Thanks in advance for any comments or suggestions.
Kerstin